Do you spend more time and energy correcting your child’s misbehavior than noticing good behavior?
If we were to watch a video of a day in our life with our child, we might see that most of our energy goes into correcting misbehavior – often with less than stellar results. This may be particularly true if we have a child who is especially intense and challenging. Author Howard Glasser calls this “upside-down energy,” connecting with your child at those times when it would be more effective to ease back and let your child “reset.” In his Nurtured Heart Approach, Glasser counsels us to put our energy into noticing and describing those times when a child is doing the right thing. This transforming approach goes way beyond vague words of praise (“good boy,” for example) and you won’t want to miss his specific tips for bringing out the greatness in your child.
Think about the interactions you’ve had with your child in the past day or week. To what extent have you noticed and described what your child is doing well, especially in terms of focus or emotional regulation? To what extent have you reprimanded your child or imposed consequences or punishment? Share your thoughts in our REPLY space below!
Note: Stay tuned through the end of the show for Relationships that Nurture, a brief monthly feature brought to you by St. David’s Center for Child & Family Development. This month’s segment addresses a parent’s role in a child’s brain development.
For St. David’s Center’s Parent’s Role in Brain Development tip sheet, click here.
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